Humphrey's Enemy
by A Wolf's Nightmare
Summary: A new wolf comes to the pack and immediately has a bone to pick with Humphrey.
1. The New Wolf in Town

Humphrey was walking through the forest with a happy grin on his face. He was always happy even on hard times.

While he was walking, he saw something… unusual… He saw a wolf with gray and white fur, green eyes, and glasses looking around confused. He had a bag with him.

Well, guess what Humphrey did. That's right, talk to him. He went up and started to talk. "Hey, are you lost, stretch?" Humphrey said with a smile.

The wolf sighed. "My name's not stretch, its Grimes. I'm looking for a place to stay for a while."

"Well then, come to Jasper Park. It's a great place. A lot of food, great people, numerous angel sightings."

"Alright… What's your name?"

"Humphrey. So what's cracking Grimey?"

"It's just Grimes." As they walked they met with the rest of the gang.

"Hey Humphrey!" Kate said with a smile. Humphrey shot a smile at them.

"Hey guys! I found a new wolf that would like to join our pack. His name is Grimey…" 

"Actually it's just Grimes."

"Wow… let's show him around. But first we need to know a little bit about you." Wayne said.

"Ah, ok. Well my name is Grimes. I was abandoned by my parents at two weeks. I had to fend off predators until I was two years. I ate grubs as my breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And here I am."

"That's a boring story…" Humphrey said bluntly.

"What are you talking about? It isn't boring. It's my life."

"Still boring…" Humphrey said. Grimes sighed and shook his head.

"Just take me to my den…" He said. They did. They made a fresh one for him as Tony and Eve came in.

"What's going on?" Tony asked. "Somebody die?"

"No, we found a new wolf." Grimes extended his arm to shake his paw with Tony, but Tony didn't want to.

"Now can I get some time alone?" Grimes said as he put down his bag. He dumped his contents on the floor.

"Cool!" Humphrey said. He picked up a pencil that he dropped. Grimes tried to get it back but Humphrey wouldn't let him.

"You got pencils with your name on it."

"Well, you can have any office supplier make it for you. It's really simple." He said as he tried to take it away from him.

"Can I have this?" Humphrey said pulling it back to him.

"No." He said pulling to him.

"Can Hutch have this?" Humphrey said pulling it to him.

"No…" Grimes said as he finally took it out of Humphrey's paw. They then left him alone.


	2. A Five Thirteen

Grimes walked through the forest to his den. He saw Humphrey in his den eating something.

He then ran. He saw Humphrey eating some caribou. He looked at him strangely.

"Hello stretch! How's it hanging?" He said with a smile.

"My name is Grimes, Humphrey. I took the trouble to learn your name, the least you can do is to learn mine."

"Alright, Grimey!"

Grimes was about to leave when he noticed what Humphrey was eating. He started to question it.

"Is that my special dietetic lunch?" He asked as he turned over the caribou and showed Humphrey that his name was carved into it.

"Oh, sorry."

"It was clearly marked. Please be more careful in the future."

"Alright."

Later that day, Grimes came to his den and saw that his pencils were chewed up. He was disgusted as he picked them up and went to Humphrey.

"Humphrey, do you know who…" He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Humphrey shoving pencils in his ear and mouth.

Grimes growled as he saw this and left to his den. Sometime later, Grimes was in his den sleeping when Humphrey came in.

"So, what's new Grimey?" Grimes jolted awake. He saw it was Humphrey and growled.

"I'd appreciated if you stayed out of my den, Humphrey."

"If I had a nickel for every time I heard that…"

He then started to walk around and make random noises. This annoyed Grimes.

"So, what's new, Grimes?"

"Get out of my face!" A wolf shouted. He started to push another wolf. They started to fight.

"Humphrey, we got a five thirteen!" Grimes shouted pointing behind him.

Humphrey looked at his wrist.

"No a five thirteen! Behind you…" Humphrey looked at his wrist again.

"Right there!" He pointed.

"Oh, a five… _thirteen_. I got it." Humphrey got a bucket of water and threw it on the wolves.

They stopped for a second and shook off their fur. They started to fight again.

"There we go!"

Grimes just looked at the wolf like he was crazy.


	3. We're Enemies!

Grimes stood with Kate, Hutch, and Wayne as they saw Humphrey gorging himself with food they gathered.

He was eating piggishly and sloppy.

"He eats like a pig…" Grimes said disgusted.

"I don't know." Hutch said. "Pigs tend to chew. I say he eats more like a duck."

"Well some kind of farm animal. And this afternoon, I saw him hanging upside down from a tree and sleeping."

"He would be sleepy. He found a way to make beer."

"I don't see him do any work around here. What is his job?"

"Defender and top patrol wolf of Jasper." Kate said.

"That irresponsible oaf?! A wolf that by all rights should have been killed dozens of times by now."

"316 by my count." Kate said as she tried to add it up.

"That's the wolf that's in charge of our safety?"

"It's best not to think about it." Wayne said. They then looked back at Humphrey who was still eating.

He reached for a bottle of soda that he had but grabbed a bottle of acid. He almost drank it but Grimes saved him. He knocked the acid out of his paw and it hit a tree.

The acid burnt through the tree and it tipped over almost killed a few wolf below. Grimes growled again.

"You idiot! You almost drank a bottle of sulfuric acid!"

"Acid, eh? Boy would my face be red." He started to laugh and laugh as Grimes started to get madder and madder.

"Stop laughing! You know how far you were to killing yourself?!" He asked. Humphrey just smiled at him.

Grimes then left and grumbled under his breath. He wanted to kill him so badly. Sometime later, Humphrey was starting at the sunset, when Grimes came up and turned him around.

"Hey Grimey old buddy!"

"I'm not your buddy, Humphrey!" He said clearly angry. "I don't like you. In fact I hate you. Stay the hell away from me! Because from now on, we're enemies."

Humphrey was in the TARDIS with his friends. He was so forlorn. He had an enemy. Humphrey! The most beloved wolf in Jasper.

"I can't believe I have an enemy…"

"Oh, cheer up Humphrey. It's not the end of the world." Kate said trying to comfort him.

"Maybe you should take him to dinner. You know to mend this friendship." Wayne suggested. Humphrey perked his ears and head up at the thought of that idea.

"I like that idea." He said. When nighttime came, it was time to mend their relationship.

They stood in front of the TARDIS waiting for Grimes.


	4. I Dismantled the Fourth Wall

"Oh I hope he likes our dinner. How do I look? Is there enough food?" Humphrey panicked.

"I'm sure he'll like it." Kate said.

"How did you get him to come over?" Hutch asked.

"I brought him over." Wayne said. They then saw Grimes walking towards them. He stopped and looked at them.

"What's this important thing you wanted to show me?" He asked, adjusting his glasses.

"Welcome to my family!" Humphrey exclaimed.

"Here is my mate, Kate. Beautiful and stunning. My daughter, Claudette, future time traveler. My friend Hutch, peace keeper. And my friend Wayne. He owns a TARDIS."

"Listen I got to meet Tony to do some work so if I could…" Grimes looked around the Humphrey's den. His face changed from annoyance to astonishment.

"Good heavens. Look at this place! This is a palace."

"Oh it's not that good…"

"Yeah, but look at the size of this place. I live in a single den above a bowling alley and below another bowling alley."

"Wow…" Humphrey said smiling. Grimes then went to the wall of pictures.

"I'm sorry is that…?" He started.

"Yep. That's me with the Canadian Prime Minister and President of the United States, me on tour with the band My Chemical Romance, and this is me in outer space."

"You went into outer space. You?" Grimes asked in disbelief.

"Sure… you never have been?" They stopped talking for a second. "Would you like to see my Grammy award that I won for being the best main character in a Fanfiction show?"

"No! I don't!" Grimes yelled as he then paced back and forth. "I work hard every day and what do I have to show for it? These glasses and this haircut! And what do you have to show for your life of sloth and ignorance?"

"What?"

"Everything! A dream den, a beautiful wife, a daughter who travels through time, and…" He started to sniff the air.

"Lobsters for dinner! And do you deserve any of it? No!"

"What are you saying?" Humphrey said fearfully. Grimes then walked up to him.

"I don't like you…. You need to die…." He said coldly. He then left. Humphrey stood there in shock.

It was morning now and Humphrey was in his den upset. He didn't like having an enemy.

"Humphrey, are you ok? Why aren't you working with Tony?" Kate asked him.

"My car won't start… I'm not feeling too good…. I am at work…" He said.

"I'm sorry about Grimes. It's just that he goes through life with hardships when you don't…"

"Battling monsters, demons, and other supernatural forces is easy?" Humphrey asked her.

"Well, you always win. He doesn't. Just act professional around him and maybe he'll be nice to you." Kate said trying to comfort him. He could try. It couldn't hurt him.


	5. I'm Humphrey!

Humphrey was walking past Grimes' den and acting professional. He wanted to impress him.

"Hey, Grimes. Look, I'm actually doing a decent job. Let's continue this conversation at a later date." 

Grimes scoffed. He walked to Humphrey's omega friends, Shakey, Salty and Mooch. "Can you believe this guy? He thinks he can impress me…"

"What do you have against Humphrey?" Mooch asked. Grimes looked at him in awe.

"Are you serious? Does this whole park have a disease where they don't see his stupidity? Ever since he became top patrol wolf, I've seen 30 wolves fighting each other."

"No one's perfect. That's why pencils have erasers." Shakey said. 

"He destroyed my pencils…" He said sadly. Just then Tony walked in.

"Don't forget guys. The Great Pup Game is upon us. Any pup that can make the best replica of Jasper wins." He then left. Grimes then hatched an idea.

He went over to Humphrey and started to talk to him. He told him the Great Pup Games, but he left out one thing. That it was for pups.

Humphrey was excited to build his entry. He then went to gather things for the project. Grimes laughed as he knew this plan would cause others to laugh at Humphrey.

Come the afternoon, pups and parents gathered around Tony to display their entry. Humphrey held his entry on his back. He was so proud about what he created.

"Alright, the next entry is… Humphrey?" He asked in confusion. People murmured as Humphrey went up to display his crudely done project.

"Look! Humphrey's in a contest with pups!" Grimes yelled.

"Shut up, we'll miss the contest…." Hutch said to him.

"Could you explain your project?" Tony asked him.

"What's to explain?! He's an idiot!"

"Pipe down!" Kate said.

"Well, I just copied the park we have now…"

"Mm…" Tony said.

"Then I added flaps to lower wind resistance… and this racing strip I feel is pretty sharp."

"Agreed… first prize!" He gave him a leaf with 1st on it.

"Good work Humphrey!" Kate shouted as everyone cheered.

"But this was a contest for children!" Grimes said going insane.

"Yeah, and Humphrey beat their brains out."

"This whole park is insane… ah! Ah!" He yelled as he left the area. Humphrey, Tony, Kate, Hutch and a couple of other wolves followed him.

"I can be lazy too! 'Hey, I'm worthless wolf! Give me a promotion!'" he then walked in on a family eating caribou.

"I eat like a slob but nobody minds!" He then started to eat the caribou like a mad wolf. He then walked over to the TARDIS where Wayne opened the door. Grimes went in and the rest followed.

He then sat in the wheelchair that Wayne had. "I don't have to do my work, because someone else will do it for me!"

"Are you ok, Grimey?" Humphrey asked.

"I'm better than ok…. I'm Humphrey…" He said with a mad look in his eyes.

"You wish…" Humphrey said laughing. Grimes then walked to the power cords of the TARDIS. It read on the top, "High Voltage".

"Oh what's this?" Everyone looked at him in confusion. He got closer and closer to the power lines.

"Extremely high voltage. Well I don't need safety gloves, because I'm Hump…."

He grabs the high voltage wires and is electrocuted instantly. Everyone looks away as this happens, then when it stops they look back.

At Grimes' funeral, Tony is giving the service. "Grimes… or Grimey as he liked to be called was a normal wolf with normal dreams."

We see Humphrey asleep at the funeral and in his drowsy state says this.

"Change the channel, Kate!" This causes the attending mourners to laugh as the casket is lowered into the earth.

 _ **Fdq Kxwfk Kdyh Lw?**_


End file.
